The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! ”

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)See More
By: Delphine Fieberg

I often post on my face-book page that I’m “marinating in magnetism”.  So many people have asked me what this means, I think it’s time that I explain not only what it is to metaphorically marinate, but also the attraction of magnetism and its forces: Your energy is a magnetic force which you can think of as a boomerang. You throw it out there with intention and it will whip back to you, sometimes with full force.  Magnetism isn’t just something you have to born with,  it is an energy to attract and influence good things.

Let’s start with the dictionary’s definition of our words: Magnetism – The class of phenomena exhibited by a magnetic field; The study of magnets and their effect;. The force exerted by a magnetic field;  Unusual power to attract, fascinate, or influence.

Marination – to soak; to wait calmly for something to happen.

There are some common misconceptions about magnetism.  Some say that either you have it in your personality or you don’t. The experts, (that’s me), say that you can marinate in magnetism.  As our dictionary definition says “to wait calmly for something to happen.” So now that we know that Magnetism isn’t a mystery, and it isn’t just for “those people” that were born with it, we can know that it is accessible to each of us. The right idea about magnetism is that everyone can access it. It starts with a thought and turns into energy.  It can manifest in seconds once the combination of thought, higher intention and energy are in sync. It is about throwing something out there, and receiving the good that comes back to you. In other words, it’s an expectation rather than a personality trait.The wrong idea about magnetism is that  in order to have it, you must make yourself stand-out at all costs, especially by being the life of the party or the opposite of shy. By the way, there is no such thing as being “shy”!  For all you self diagnosed “shy” people, you should know that shyness is magnetism.  Really. It is negative magnetism, but magnetism none the less.  Look at it this way, when you are “shy”, everyone comes to you and feels compelled to make you better and ease your discomfort. Oh,P.S.There are other ways to try to discconnect yourself from people that is grown up “shyness”. You can say, “I’m just not a people person” or “I”m just introverted”. Know this:All of those energy  force you have causes a force that pulls people toward you.  So now we can see that “shyness” means you don’t even have to make small talk with someone to attract his/her attention. It is an energy that you throw out that comes back to you.Magnetism is a willingness to be vulnerable and accept a destiny or connection, a willingness to put yourself out there…. like when you’re fishing. If I fished, I would imagine this  typical scenario. You cast a line and see what bites.You throw it out not knowing what kind of fish,the size or color of what comes back to you as you real it in. You are being a contributor by being willing to receive all that you throw out.  Try it, but be ready to receive what comes your way.You always have the choice to throw it back. Remember that in choosing to be magnetic so that you can start marinating in magnetism, you need to make some changes within yourself. But don’t worry, these changes will make you a better person overall, they will increase your mojo and make you more knowledgeable and inspiring.

Here is another concept of magnetism that might be a surprise: Your magnetism and the positive forces can be used for others benefits as well. Throwing out good things for others with a generous spirit can boomerang off of you and ricochet right on to another person of choice.Yes,I said “of choice”. I remember sitting in San Diego with a girlfriend of mine having a glass of wine.   She noticed a man walk in and commented that he was possibly the most attractive man she had ever seen in her life. Knowing that few men on this planet turn her head, I decided to do a “friend-ervention”. (I know that isn’t a word but it is in my world). I said, ”Do you want me to pull him over here?” She looked at me puzzled and laughed.  Knowing the power of magnetism, I didn’t wait for her to say yes.I have a tendency to be bold  and full of spice since marination happens over time. Seriously, this connection wasn’t going to happen if I waited for fate or destiny to take place.  I sort of looked at it like I had  Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth, or as if I had a Super-Shero  magnetism-power-pack in my lip gloss tube. I just lassoed  him over with magnetism.  Within minutes we were all sitting together and sure enough the chemistry happened for them and they are a very happy couple now. I had to sacrifice my girlfriend-night for the higher purpose but hey, girlfriends stick together!  Wonder (Wing) Woman drove home with a smile on her face at least. We still talk about that night like it’s a phenomenon, but it isn’t, it’s sheer magnetism

Here are 5 tips to support you new adventure in magnetism

1. It starts with a thought, and then let the energy of what you want to throw out there move  through your body.
2. Stay or become authentic and outspoken about the thoughts that are going on in your head. There is nothing more appealing than someone who can say, in a positive or funny way, what others might be thinking. It immediately draws people to you. Hasn’t someone ever said something that made you laugh or shocked you in a way that made you pull toward them physically or lean on them in laughter? This is magnetism!
3. Know this: magnets attract other magnets, but they can attract bobby pins, too. Whatever comes your way is meant to be and it is up to you to sort it out, but you have to be willing to receive the abundance and the bobby pins.
4. Be generous in your unspoken magnetism as well as the spoken. Be on the lookout tocreate something for someone else’s benefit that is generously sacrificial, knowing that this force is to help others as well. It makes a positive impact on the people that you touch and inspires those who want what you have.
5. When practicing magnetism, my advice is to be fearless, honest, open and willing to be vulnerable for a higher cause. You won’t find this tip in any recipe for success book but you will find it inside you.

Magnetism is inspired by the human spirit.

If you are inspired,I would love to hear about it. Comment here. Thank you

Paige

I learned a lesson one day when I saw some weeds in my lawn and did something completely out of character for me;   I know that people who know me aren’t going to believe this, but I actually started pulling the weeds.  Now, if you expect that it will ever happen again, it won’t.

I started with the small weeds, knowing that I was probably going to have to have some sort of tool for the larger ones.  This was an impromptu defoliation after all, and I really didn’t want to dampen my enthusiasm by having to spend time wading through  my garage to find something to dig with.   The first weed I pulled produced just what I expected, a small weed and a small root that was easy to extract.  The second weed produced the same.  Don’t begin to worry about me at this point….I didn’t grow so attached to this experience that I numbered my weeds. It just happened.

Now we come to weed number three, and isn’t it just like anything worth the telling, it’s always weed number three that begins the important part of the story.   Weed number 3, although quite small, had a root that was at least two-feet long and required the use of a tool and quite a bit of muscle and leverage to pull that huge thing out of the ground. My finger nails werent  doing well. I had been taught as a child that if you leave any part of the root in the ground you might as well not pull the weed because it would begin growing again.   I pulled the entire weed. Root in tact. 

Weed number four convinced me that there was a lesson to be learned here as the rest of the afternoon became an adventure of surprises each time the root didn’t match the part that was showing above the ground. I was having a moment with what I was discovering. Sometimes the top would be small and the root would be long, and sometimes the top was very large but the root was short. 

I began to realize that these weeds were like some of my bad habits and choices; sometimes the part that shows looks small, but the roots go way down deep and are very hard to extract.  Sometimes the part that shows is big, and the root is small and easy to extract.   And come to think of it, sometimes the color of the weeds are exactly the same color as the grass that they’re growing in and blend in so perfectly I don’t even see the space they’re using up in my lawn until they’ve outlasted their welcome by turning ugly and brown.  Beyond that, sometimes weeds, just like our lifetime habits, simply “grow themselves to death” and die off because they lived too fast, but this is an unfortunate rarity.

Knowing about the nature of weeds is a pretty good way to deal with the bad habits of my life or areas I need to grow.   Now, I’m talking about the little habits that make the “lawn” of my life messy; habits like being habitually late, or spending more time on Facebook than I do looking into the faces of the people I love; habits like language I wish I didn’t use, or caring more about what people look like than what they are like; habits like being too lazy to take off my makeup before I go to bed, or not being able to ignore the text message that just came in.

 A lot of people feel that they have to know the “why” of a habit before they can forsake it, but to go back to our weed metaphor and getting to the root of it, I can say with certainty that I never once waited for the answer as to why weeds are in my lawn before I dealt with them!  They’re there because they just ARE, and will only go away if I pull them or treat them in some other way that gets rid of them, because there has never been a weed in history that got removed from a lawn through analyzing its origin or its come-from.  If I wait to find out why those weeds are there, the weeds will still be there next week, and next year, and next decade.  If I pull them, they won’t be. This is the part to pay attention to.

 It’s heartening for me to know that not all of the bad habits or baggage I want to get out of my life will require extra tools and extra digging to get them out, so I shouldn’t be afraid to start on them because they may be easier to extract than I think.   It’s inspiring to know that if I deal with my weeds now while they’re small, I won’t have to deal with them when they grow and sink two-foot roots.  To know that I can spend just a few minutes identifying the weeds, then go for their jugular root without any fanfare or time on an analyst’s couch.Personal growth is required. just a willingness to see what is deep down

That’s not to say that I won’t still have weeds with long and strong roots to deal with, but to continue our metaphor, to know that I can starve them to death by not nurturing them, and that I can refuse to give up on that root until I have it all extracted.  And since weeds, because it’s in their nature, produce seeds at the end of their lifetime, this gives me the caution that to not pull the “Mother Weed” means that I’ll have to deal with the sprouts at a later time.

Maybe today can be the day that calls you to examine the weeds in your own lawn.  Maybe some will be a struggle, and some will come right out.  Maybe some will be gone forever, and maybe some will come back every time it rains and you’ll have to do it again next year, but isn’t that what makes a lawn beautiful…the care that went into it?  Keep in mind, some weeds are just misplaced flowers. They are beautiful to look and  a possible disaster in disguise.

Don’t be afraid, just identify Weed # 1. Pull it out by the root. Notice how deep it goes and what it intertwines with in your life….and if you decide to name or number your weeds, it is okay with me.  I won’t judge.

 I read that in the book “Message in a Bottle” years ago, and have been pondering it ever since. 
What a deep expression! What is North to us that makes us all know exactly what the author meant when he had his main character say it in a letter to the woman he loved? Really a metaphor for where you automatically head towards in your heart.

For my son’s scouts a compass to complete the gear required for him to go on a camping trip with his Boy Scout troop, his uncle telling him how the compass works gave me a glimpse into that expression.  “You see,” He explained to him, “all traveling, all navigation since man first discovered that fixed star in the night sky is relative to North.  North is the constant, the beacon, the plumb line by which we weigh all decisions about which direction we are going to turn, or whether we’re going to continue going as we were.”   In discovery that fact, I realize that I need to teach him more than how to locate North on a survival map.  I need to help him to find the North that is going to guide him through his life. Simply, his truth.

What will be his True North?  If I do my job well, it may be character values like honor and integrity, kindness, and compassion.   If I do my job well, it will be God.  My son’s True North may be a social concept such as his wife, or Family First.   He may have to go through some Not-So-True North’s before he becomes aware of how he makes decisions, and he may choose for a time to not listen to a North that will call him back to what is true to him before he becomes a grown man.   My job is to help teach him to fix his compass on something that will be true to his heart, his values, and something that will make him proud of himself when it’s all over. 

If he keeps his compass at True North, he will weigh every decision he makes against this True North.
I didn’t find my true North until focused on discovery who I am and why I’m here on the planet. Everything I am committed to is for this reason. My place in the world, my mission as a mother. Why am so deeply passionate. It is why I write, speak and share great news or knowledge with people. Why I am inspired to be a true partner and friend. It all comes down to my True North. Contribution of self! The celebration of human spirit. I am clear that this is where my compass points to.

“What is your North?” is a good question for all of us to ponder while the world is asleep in winter.  It may be noble, or it may not, but it’s worth taking a look at if we want to make sense of things and have an inspirited focus. If it doesn’t look right or feel right, you may be off your truth path going south. I invite you to make a turn back to what inspires you. What causes you to jump out of bed and not slam the snooze button?

Want to know where your compass points?

Look for your light house. Your beliefs. Does it feel right and true?  Your true North lies in human spirit, values and your true hearts lead. Who you are as a man or woman and who want to be. No matter where you stand in your life, your compass will always point towards what is true and land at your spirits destination. It will feel right, sound. It is like you already know how to get there. You know the way and are the ultimate troop leader. Put one foot in front of the other and let your heart be your guide. That X marks the spot of the true treasure of you!

The economy . . .With such an unproductive conversation starter, the only possible result can be a downward spiral that has me feeling worse than I did when I decided to talk about it (AGAIN!)  Where else could the conversation go from there but right down straight to hell without the hand-basket?  Not to mention what it does for those of us who are in business for ourselves: how can I generate excitement and possibilities when all I’m focusing on is what is going on with the economy? It can feel like sinking in quick sand sometimes. I can’t help but to think of the  old commercial with the the lady;”I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”.

Well, there’s an answer to this; How about creating your own economy?  You are probably wondering how to do that when the world doesn’t agree with you, or the topic of the economy (Let’s call it “The E Word”) just seems to pop up into the conversation like leftovers that just pop themselves out of the refrigerator and make it to the microwave.  

Sometimes The E Word conversation is only happening in your own head. Have you ever heard the term “what you resist persists”?  Instead of focusing on what has happened in our economy, why not focus on what is working right now, and what could be adjusted to make it work even better?   I’m not saying it isn’t hard to think positively when we see the brown lawns on every block or businesses with vacancy signs, but so much of the worry we’re putting ourselves through is about things that haven’t even happened, but that we’re worried MAY happen . It’s just as likely that those things we’re worried about may NOT happen.Maybe you have been hit really hard with some knocks. Well,it is time to get back up from where you fell. Spray some bactine on those wounds and learn from what your lost.That may sound harsh. However,what is your alternative? It is time for a new beginning.Start thinking about who and what you want your new identity and personal economy to be like,sound like and look like. Start planning your comeback.Here is something to pay attention to as you are re-inventing yourself. Be aware of false forecasting. I call it the “when I, then I’s”.  Here’s an example: When I have a lot of money, then I will be happy. Why not make a choice to be happy today?  (It IS a choice, you know).  Or, When I can afford to take my family to Hawaii, then I will watch them having fun.  Why not fill up the backyard wading pool, set out the lawn chairs, and pour tropical drinks this very Saturday?  I’m not saying to not take an honest look at your future, but I am saying to not wait until “then” to look at what could be good in your life. You would’nt wake to get in shape before you started going to the gym? The truth is, you only have right now.  Focus on what you are doing now and what you can do now.  The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.

If The E Word is taking up too much of your conversation right now, remember that only you can change your circumstance. Yes, there is a circumstance that caused you to be in this position or to fail. Personally, I don’t believe in failure, because it’s much more honest to call it “failing forward.”  Failing forward is an opportunity to move forward and leave the past behind.  If you don’t look at it as a chance to grow, the situation will probably repeat itself in your life.   At that point, you would be re -living the past.  Look at it as feedback, not failure.The growth and lessons.

You can do what you need to do to get through this and be a cause for personal change. Here are a few ways to change your  own economy:

• Find other people whose lives ARE working for them.  Ask them how they’re doing it, then DO IT, too.Find people who have changed their circumstance and be inspired by them.
• If what you are doing isnt working,go back to your roots. Do what you do best. You will re-kindle your passion along the way
• In business, report the great news and what new developments you are working on.  This creates excitement
• Remember that the Media is a business with a product to sell!  Look beyond the headlines and the screaming. This will do more to change everyone’s economy outlook than anything else we could do!
• Lose the “When I, Then I” attitude.  Water your grass now, don’t wait for the brown spots to show up.
• Make a comeback as the new re-invented you.
• Be open for opportunities that can change your circumstance.Listen carefully.

  You are news now!……………..Guess who’s making a comeback?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Passion is contagious!

Have you ever met someone that is so in line with who they are and what they do? It almost like when you meet them you want to say “I would have picked this for you” ,or“that is so perfect!” There excitement is contagious and you want to jump on whatever train they are riding. This is what you want to be for people” Keep your business SIMPLE. There are a lot of people who would love to share your products and/or earn a living from what you share! Be a magnet, people with automatically be drawn to you. No one is attracted to cheese ball salesmanship.

Be uncomfortable in your pajamas!

You have to be willing to try something new! This might make you feel uncomfortable. Don’t worry! That feeling is not uneasiness; it is just your personal and professional levels stretching toward growth! Scared? Face the fear and do it anyway! Learn to be in constant state of uncomfortableness. I feel good to know you are stretching

Knock it off with the busyness! 

Don’t be “busy”. Give it up right now! This is no longer your report when people ask you how you are. It makes you sound like you are a wreck! No one wants to refer or do business with someone so “busy”. Distinguish in you mind. Do I have “busy” mind or busy life? This is going to sting a little! Ready, neither is attractive to ANYONE! This report puts people off and hurts you in more ways then one. Busyness is no a badge of honor. It may make you feel important, but it makes all those you come in contact feel less then. No one wants to sign up or pay to be at the bottom of your list.

Keep it authentic

Build your business relationships and the best way to do that is to make sure that your own style and loving of what you do shows through! You always have time. Enjoy your journey and others will too. Share what is working. Ask people if they know a simpler solution. You never know how much people appreciate it when you are real. It creates an opening for them to trust you and relate to you. Want to break this habit of inauthenticity? Next time someone asks you just say, “I’m reinventing myself or business”. This is a conversation starter with huge potential for your success and theirs!

You are not a victim of circumstance

Look for opportunities that can change your circumstance. Know where you are going. What you say, what you do and how you react to challenges or change can affect your business positively or negatively. When building a team, others will look to you first to see how you handle situations. Positive words and positive actions will affect your paycheck in a positive way! Most of all, if you are not willing to walk the walk that you talk, and then people will not follow you. People follow people who know where they are going. Even if they fall, they will be loyal if they know that you know what they are doing and feeling. Relatedness to experiences can cause you to rethink ideas. Share your success and triumphs over circumstances. Example: “Here’s what I thought, did, and learned”

 Live in the learning curve!  

Be willing to look at something from a different point of view. A sure sign of stagnation is thinking that you already know something.  I say change your relationship with feedback and get in the learning curve! Remember the business about people helping other people. You are one of those people. To gain the most from others’ experiences and successes you must be willing to learn new things, be open to new ideas and be willing to be part of a team effort. You will want to learn as much as possible from other leaders, but be careful not to judge yourself based on others’ successes.  

What is the spirit of success? Your authentic self!

When I was a young adult, you could say I really didn’t have much direction. I was more concerned with how I looked then who I was on the inside. I thought my purpose in life was to look good.  Really, I will say that out loud now. I spent a lot of time decorating the outside.   I didn’t set any goals other than to look good for my next social event.  Ah, the vanity of youth!  I lived a very much “Live for today” attitude. Then I had dates with destiny that I didn’t know were dates within 5 weeks in my early 20’s that taught me some lessons:  My first lesson was not paying attention to my intuition. You can look for it in you inner voice. It is your guide. Paying attention to it is crucial. I learned this the hard way.First, I got abducted at gun point, and robbed. My “nav” voice told me not to walk to my car alone, but I ignored it. P.S. it was really loud.  Second, my car got rear-ended and pushed onto some train tracks when a train was coming at me (I had asked my mom if I could take her car instead of mine. My car was stick shift, and hers was automatic.). Something urged me to ask her.  I was able to back up seconds before the train because of this, something I couldn’t have done in my stick-shift car.  Finally, a couple of weeks later, I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up on impact with another car with blood running down my face. Again, something told me not to go out that night. My forehead hit the rear view mirror before it went through the windshield and back again. I oddly got out of the car myself and walked to a random house and rang the doorbell. I looked like a freak-show at her door step I’m sure. I just remember apologizing for bleeding all over her white carpet.After the plastic surgery was completed on my forehead and stitched up, I was given permission to take a look in a mirror. It sounds like something out of Halloween movie, and it felt like it too. The walk down the corridor for my viewing seemed to take forever and literally the light was flashing off and on. Imagine the instrumental chords in the background going, ”gweek gweek”.  It took me a few moments to get up enough nerve to take a look. I was a little worried about the viewing since all of my family’s hopeful faces at the hospital. Their smiles sort of looked like a combination of glee and gas when trying to tell me it will be alright when my hair grows back. God bless them for giving it spirit. Everything in those moments seemed to be in slow motion. I didn’t know how severe it was or where it was. I didn’t know what to prepare myself for. It felt like my face was thrashed.  I was very nervous and kind of “out of it” on my way to look at my smashed up head. I saw my face and thought it wasn’t so bad, until I noticed that my head had been shaved by the windshield glass about three inches above my forehead… The hair I had left on the back of my head was bloody, curly and stiff. So many things were going through my head at the time.I kept thinking about how I could cover not only my face, but my circumstances. My world literally seemed upside down in every direction, just as my hair had been at the moment of head-on impact.  I didn’t even know how I was going to get to work. I hadn’t seen my totaled car yet, but I had a pretty good guess about what it looked like (Did I mention that I didn’t have insurance for the car or medical insurance for myself at the time?).  The man that my car collided with did not have a scratch on him.  His car was only slightly dented and looked better than my face, I should add. It took about 10 years for all the glass to work its way out of my head. Emotionally, it took about the same amount of time to work through it.I went home from the emergency room with a prescription for anti-depressants and some pain killers.  I remember thinking “as if anything could kill this pain”.  I took my first one and tried to forget what had happened. No luck, reality seemed to creep in at every opportunity like sun creeps through a crack in the blind.  This became a 5-hour opportunity to think about recent events while in my dark bedroom, curtains drawn against the sunny day.  I felt broken and very sorry for myself. I was only too aware of the two previous “Nav voices” that I hadn’t paid attention to before this accident.  I realized that there was something that was going to stop me in my tracks if I didn’t stop myself.  I knew in my heart that I was going down the wrong path. I was flirting with disaster in every way possible.I guess you could say that I was stripped of possibilities that day in my mind. I couldn’t work; I had no car, no money, no hair!  My self esteem was shot.

All the sudden I had a breakthrough:  I thought of how many times I could have died in that short 5-week period.  Each one of those incidents could have killed me; the abduction – I could have been raped and shot, and wasn’t; The train-track incident could have left me crippled or dead; The head-on collision, who knows what fate, had in store. It could have killed my spirit much less my physical body. So instead of feeling sorry for myself and saying “Poor Me”, I felt an odd sense of peace followed by gratitude. You could call it a spiritual experience. I realized that God had something big planned for me. I knew that intuitively I hadn’t been paying attention to the guidance (I was hearing it, but not paying attention).  I didn’t think that I would have been spared time and again, if there hadn’t been some bigger plan. It may be part of my ultimate destination. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was big! I literally had to be stopped in my tracks to face things head on. Apparently, there was no other way for me to “get it” other then impact!I got up off the couch, took a shower, put on my cutest hat and walked out of the door with confidence, headed off for work and started a clean-up campaign too and decided to face things head on. I made a decision to be at my highest potential, and do everything from that level.  I started to read books and take courses in personal development and learn to value who I am and why I’m here.  I realized I am here to make a difference and inspire people- to bring human spirit through my gifts and my experiences. From that moment on, I have never looked, thought or experienced life in the way I used to before that huge impact.  

Fast forward almost 20 years. I have a huge scar on my forehead, but every time I look at it I’m reminded of how grateful I am to be alive and tell this story to uplift people.  I fulfilled my destiny and started to teach personal growth courses, write books about human spirit and women’s self esteem. I see people for who they are in human spirit first, and help decorate the outside for confidence through sharing products and myself.

I do have my moments of vanity still, but I’ve learned how to concentrate on what’s INSIDE of me and in everyone I encounter. What do I see when I look in the mirror at myself now? I see a wiser woman with a scar on her forehead, one who is committed to changing the way people look and feel about them selves.

Wasn’t ‘09 the weirdest  year ever? I  started with so much hope.It sort of felt as if I always had my shoes untied.I don’t ever remember welcoming in a new year with more passion for it’s possibility’.  For me ’09 definitely qualifies for ”Out With the Old”.Whew!  I can’t be the only one.There is one thing that is positive about scarcity driven economy. What is that you ask? The chance to reinvent yourself! . An opportunity to create new you, An upgraded sense of self, a re-load or total transformation. Here are some ways to either change your life-circumstance or general disposition for 2010.   I say it is time to break on through to the other side.What are of your life do you want a breakthrough in?

For the last 18 years I have used and taught these simple principles that are not only effective but practical as well. Here are my Five Points of Power for the New Year and you:

1) Pay Attention to Your Life
Seems simple, yet so many things can take you by surprise. The concept of Paying Attention is a command to yourself to be more observant of your place in the world. This concept has many levels to it and starts with paying attention to your self-talk, your choices, and circumstances.  You aren’t a victim. You are always at choice. There is always a cause and affect to everything. You have three things to spend in your life. Money, time and energy. Pay attention to how you spend all three. The more you value these three things, the more time and money you will spend on them. Ask yourself this, “Is it worth it”? Focus on really being aware of your thoughts, how you see yourself, how you’re interacting with others, and catching yourself when you’re “off” or not paying attention to what you value. 

2)    Keep Your Agreements
Avoid the taking of an “emotional cash advance”. What is an emotional Cash advance?  It’s one of those agreements that you make that you can’t, or won’t keep.  Sure, it buys you time now, put you will pay for it in the future by loss of respect or a weakening of relationship with the person you made the agreement with.  Remember Wimpy character from Popeye cartoons? He always said “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”  What we didnt’t see in the cartoon about Wimpyis  when Tuesday comes and you can’t pay up, you have broken your agreement. I’ll trust you less and less as the Tuesdays go by. Unfortunate truth.People will always listen to you as Wimpy. There is great power in learning to be your word and keeping your agreements.  We really have very little else to offer other people but the integrity of our word. This is what builds trust and relationship retention!  This does not mean that you have to take on agreements that are not good for you.  You should evaluate very closely the things you agree to, and not use the words or concept of “I will try”, or “I’m working on it”.  When you say those phrases, you are really saying “I don’t value this enough to make it happen.”  What you should say instead is “YES I will do it”, or “NO, I will not do it,” and then keep your agreement!  Now that isn’t to say that you can’t renegotiate an agreement but you have to be sure the other party is aware of it and agrees also.  Don’t make an agreement if you know you can’t (or won’t) keep it.

3)    Speak the Truth. As You Know it
Speaking the truth is not about saying everything that comes into your mind or sharing everything about what you are doing, thinking, or feeling.  Don’t confuse it with brutal honesty, because these are two completely separate consciousnesses. Discretion is always called for when communicating with other people. Honor people’s human spirit in communication.  You should be able to give people honest information about them when it is appropriate, or about yourself and what you are doing.  People appreciate you more when you keep it real, and authentic. You will get more respect, personal fulfillment, and be happier because you are honest with yourself and with others.

4)    Ask for What You Want
Most people are very bad at asking for what they want. This sounds like alien talk to some. They hedge a lot of the time and give out very bad messages about what they would like and don’t like.  It is very confusing to others. There are many reasons why people do this, including being told as a child not to ask for things.  Give people a chance to give you what you want by asking for it, but you also have to be ready to take “no” with dignity if they refuse.  I truly believe the “no” just means that something is missing. Find the missing piece to get the “yes”. You will be surprised how often people are willing to give you what you want when you are clear about it.  Think about it . . . People will either say “yes” or “no”, but it will always be “no” if you don’t even ask!

5)    Be Accountable for your own life and choices
Sometimes people really shy away from being accountable. It’s a lot easier to not be accountable, but you are really missing personal power, when you aren’t accountable to yourself or those people you are in relationship with.  Don’t put excuses on your emotional credit card.  Instead, hold yourself to a standard of integrity, because it’s your life!  Blaming other people for your own choices in life is very destructive of your personal power.  Taking full accountability for your choices in life lets you understand that you are free to make many more powerful choices.  Life is not based on the choices you have already made, but on the choices you are about to make about yourself right now. As the oracle says in the “The Matrix 2, the Reload,”  “You have already made the choice.”   Be powerful in your choices and the questions you ask yourself.  Choose the highest good for all and human spirit. If you look at it that way, there is no wrong choice. As Pumba eloquently states it in The Lion King. “Put your past in your behind”, or as you or I would say it, ”put your past behind you”.
Break on through with power and a point! 2010 is ready for the new you

If you would like to have  breakthrough and find out more register for the Breakthrough Weekend. www.breakthroughweekend.eventbrite.com or visit me at www.inspiringthehumanspirit.com

You may have also experienced the opposite reaction to meeting people in your life.There is a saying that I believe is true; “When I judge, I lose the experience, when I “be” I am the experience.” What experience is that? The experience of looking at what needs to be seen, the experience of seeing the human spirit in someone .Seeing the beauty inside someone, which is the true essence of who they are.

You may be one of those that quietly say to yourself (or maybe you even say it out loud to your friends)”I don’t judge people”. Most of us like to believe, or at least pretend, that we don’t judge. I hate to burst your bubble, but you aren’t exempt just by claiming that you don’t judge people. We all do it. It’s just human nature, not human spirit. In fact it’s a built-in survival strategy, and it’s usually caused by fear. You see, we all have fears and our fears manifest themselves in judgments. We judge ourselves and others mostly by what we see on the outside. Sometimes you can show up as the most authentic looking knockoff of yourself. Possibly even fooling your self. Know this: Even with a knock off bag, you still have to look inside for authenticity.

Personal Confession~ I used to care a lot about what people thought of me until someone told me something that changed my life. Here’s the scenario; At the beginning of my career of teaching my personal growth Breakthrough Workshops, I was concerned about how to present a particular subject, and quite unaware that I was about to have a breakthrough of my own before I started. My mentor and good friend said to me, “What people think of you is none of your business. What you think of you is your business! Take the focus off of you, and you will be able to see through people. All you will see is beauty”. That day he gave me a new set of eyes, and it was a major life changing moment for me! At that moment I made a choice to see through people into their heart and soul, and what happened as a result is that I automatically became more authentic and began to see a new world through human spirit. Since I was no longer worried about people making judgments on me, it took the focus off taking and turned it into something real. From that moment on, BEAUTY showed up in my life instead of bodies!

Here is the definition of beauty from the dictionary: The experience of “beauty” often involves the interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Because this is a subjective experience, it is often said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”[1] In its most profound sense, beauty may engender a salient experience of positive reflection about the meaning of one’s own existence. A subject of beauty is anything that resonates with personal meaning.

A positive reflection?

The saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” I say it’s time we upgrade that saying to “Beauty is through the eyes of the beholder. How does it happen? It shows up when YOU show up authentically and just “be” yourself, but that takes a willingness to stop judging yourself as well as not judging others.

Are you interested in having a breakthrough? It takes a new set of eyes to see something different. It starts with the willingness and new point of view for yourself and others. It is really a choice. Imagine looking through a camera lens, which sees things from the particular angle that you have pointed it towards. The angle is the lens’ ONLY point of view at that moment, but If you stood in a different position, the camera lens would have a different point of view. It isn’t possible to make a change or have a breakthrough without looking at something with a different point of view. You will see a positive reflection. It comes from standing in a different position.

Looking at our own reflection with a different point of view causes change for everyone! Often we will look in the mirror and look for approval for our own outer shell. Make no mistake, THIS is judgment in its purist form, and might be a surprise to you to know that you, who think you’re not judgmental, are judging yourself! Why not look at yourself with a different point of view and focus on who you are and who you want to be for people? You will see that true beauty exists through your experience, because your focus will be on what is inside instead of what you see from the outside. If you do this you will “be” different, and see differently. (By the way, did you notice that the word “beauty” starts with the letters “BE”?)

Beauty is seen through . . . eyes! Your eyes. A beautiful reflection of you.

Artwork by Maureen Sunde`Facebook her for more beautiful work

If you are inspired by this article, email me and tell me your thoughts. www.Inspiringhtehumanspirit.com

Even though we had no real time-line, Gramp was purpose-driven. We would stop and look at rock stores. My grandpa was passionate about making jewelry. He was all about God, family and rocks. He made jewelry from precious gems and stones. He would grind rocks down and buy settings for them. He was fascinated by rocks and their history. How he knew what was inside of those stones and what he could create once they were open was a mystery to me. To him, it was fascinating. My sister and I would often help him pick out rocks. He valued our opinion. I remember him always talking about African malachite stones. That was his favorite. After, we would often stop at some greasy spoon to talk and eat. Somehow, everyone knew him by name and said hello. He was a “regular” everywhere he went.

My grandfather wasn’t the most outgoing personality, or a man of many words. If I waited for the well of his thoughts long enough, he had a lot to say! I waited. There was a wealth of wisdom and oneness he shared with these stones. His ambition wasn’t really to sell his jewelry; it was to make it and share it. The look on people’s faces and the fascination was enough for him to keep grinding. With each gift, came an education on that particular stone and its origin. He would just give them to anyone that took an interest.

 I  ave to say that my Gramp was daring. Not many men wear rings on every finger or accessorized quite like him. Everything that you can inlay with gemstone, was cemented down. Belt buckles, key chains and bolos. He wore them all at once, and with pride. Everyday! When he passed away, his rings were the things I most treasured of his belongings. One other treasure I keep. By his night stand, his bible was always opened to the Lord’s Prayer. They belonged to him and he belonged to me. His heart and soul lives through them for me. Isn’t that true for most people you know that are truly being filled and living with passion?

I’d like to take you on the “back road,” to discover the spirit of your purpose and passion. Not the freeway route. What I have come to discover about finding your purpose, is that it usually finds you. There may be a catalyst involved; however, it is part of your spirit. The spirit of your purpose lies in passion and what gems you have to share. Not just words or multiple-choice questions to try to find what catch-words or phrases give you that little “zing” for a check mark. It isn’t necessarily what sounds good to you.

When you discover your purpose, not only does it trickle off your tongue without memorization, but you will have some sort of body rush that will align your mind and spirit. When it is right on, you will feel the bells chiming and usually when spoken, people will get a rush from hearing it. If the bells aren’t chiming, maybe there is more to take a look at. Open the rock and look deeper. It is an experience that only you can feel. Sounds kind of corny and “out there”? Well my friends; that is passion ringing the doorbell. Ask yourself: Where do I start? Start by knowing a few things first. Your focus has a tendency to move towards it. You have to consciously remove yourself from thinking about it. It is hard to not think about it. Your resources are endless and so is your knowledge. Better than in a computer, because you can access it even if your computer is shut down. It is in the file folder named “inspiration.” It has unlimited capacity, storage and features.

What is my passion and purpose?

What road do I take to discover?
If I asked you to talk about your favorite topic or thing right now, what would you share? You have 10 minutes to talk about your favorite subject. Your clarity would surprise you! It isn’t a speech you need to prepare for.

Something that you might say without knowing.

What it is that you are passionate about? All the reasons why you love it! Why others will love it. What you have studied. You can probably create anything from it. It is the epicenter of love and self expression for you. You can’t learn enough about it. You study it, research it even without knowing sometimes. It may involve the person that invited you or the catalyst of introduction. They saw something you didn’t know was there. A gem!

You would share the history… even if it is just your history with it. What sparked or sparks you about it.

The spirit lays your self-expression. You give it life. You wouldn’t need to worry about forgetting anything because it comes from human spirit. It is your song that always comes first on your IPod. The file folder keeps opening files that pertain to the subject. It is your song! You know every word. You can sing it faster or slower. With instruments or without. It all ends up with the same outcome. Your words and your passion ring high and clear. It “inspirits” you. It occupies a space inside you. You are it’s voice.

I don’t know how Gramp could look at a gemstone that was crusty and weathered on the outside and already knew what was in its heart. If he was here today I would ask him what his favorite part of the process was. Opening the stones to discover their depth; or placing the gems in the settings to share.

All I know is that he loved it!

What is the spirit of purpose and passion? LOVE. As the Beatles sang, LOVE is all you need! There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done…Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. No matter how you sing it. It’s easy. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need!

If you are inspired by this story, write me. Tell me your thoughts or feelings.

www.Inspiringthehumanspirit.com

www.yourarbonnegal@yahoo.com

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